I write this, not because I expect any of what I am about to say to actually change your mind, or even to have you back down on your relentless campaign against me, but because you all have your stories that you like to write and continue to post about on social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter which are no where near the truth - where some are at the point that you would simply ignore the truth even if all details were presented to you, but because the continued and relentless bullying, harassment by you towards me has taken its toll, and in many aspects unjustified with some flirting with the grey area bordering on libel defamation. It is time the truth is told without media outlets that you continuously tag in your posts, or encourage others to contact, spinning it into the story they want to tell - or even worse the story you want them to tell.
For as long as I can remember I have battled anxiety and depression. What caused this is a mystery and can be any one of many events throughout my life - not that you care - but it could be from events such as:
Drowning - shortly after arriving in Australia and starting my new school I was at the beach, diving around with a friend catching a tennis ball 'doing the hollywood type of catches' many do. The ball was thrown just over my head and as I stepped back to retrieve the ball I was caught in a rip. I was struggling to stay above water, was waving my hands for help and it happened to be an off duty life guard on holiday from New Zealand who saw that I was in trouble and came and saved me, by this point I had taken on large amounts of water and was rushed to hospital for treatment;
I was able to prove, against a police prosecutor who had been undefeated in her last twelve months in that court that the Sexual Assault did not happen as I was out of the area at the time with upwards of 12 witnesses. In relation to the Domestic Violence I was able to show inconsistencies with her statement, the statement of her star witness (who just happened to be her new boyfriend) and inconsistent statements by the police. I was able to prove that I had never raised a hand against or towards her.
I was found Not Guilty, however, the damage had been done she and her boyfriend had told anyone who would listen their story and I became reclusive, not leaving my house, not speaking to others etc. Which eventually led me to leave the City life for a Country lifestyle and an effort to get away from glaring eyes - little did I know this would just add to the issues.
As I said I acknowledge you don't care - and I am not trying to garner sympathy as we all know nothing that I say or do now will change your impression of me. However, out of the above moments in my life, and the other smaller things that build up I do suffer from servere anxiety and depression. This is where I have been for the last few months, when you have wanted me to front the media or respond to your stupid and idiotic claims on Facebook and other Social Media accounts. With the collapse of the games this was devastating for me, I had spent over a year, every waking moment on pulling this event together - an event in which I was to make absolutely nothing with everything going towards charity and local sporting clubs - only to have the rug pulled from under me and my name forever tarnished beyond repair. This heavily affected me and I have since been seeking and receiving treatment for anxiety and depression. The thought of suicide has crossed my mind many times - especially when I am offered the chance to tell my side of the story only for your friends in the media to continue to twist it into the story they want to tell. The only thing that has prevented me from acting through on these urges is the fact I have children (who have also been targeted in all of this - which is really a low blow and they should be kept out of it - and I hope you at least agree with me on this), and the expert help I have received in order to deal with my demons.
So you want answers. You all deserve answers, even though you will go through and pick this all apart and just take the bits you want and ignore the rest, and so as I continue my battles and now attempt to focus on what is best for my family and my mental health, I will give you the answers you probably don't want as it doesn't conform to your dialogue against me.
In absolutely everything you post you bring up about the Baseball, this continues to confuse me as I am not sure what your issue with this. We had intentions to launch Baseball in the region, everything I ever do is community orientated, it is about trying to do my part to better the community. Sport is a very powerful tool in order to get children outside, to get them active, to teach them fundamentals of teamwork, skills and patience. Therefore everything I do comes with a Five-year plan, something to work towards and slowly adding to the set up to make it bigger and better. This is something that was done with the successful cricket competition I pulled together, although your God of Cootamundra will deny this I still have all the evidence that the successful competition was my brain child, even though he likes to throw me under the bus and take credit for being at the forefront of its inception that even today they are still introducing 'features' that were all part of my five year plan and hailing it as their fantastic step forward for cricket. YEP BRING OUT THE HATERS.
The plan with the baseball was to start with Aussie T-Ball program, children are our future and for any longevity of the sport in the region we needed to get children liking the sport and wanting to play it (and continuing to play it) as we continued to expand in future years. The plan was then to launch a junior league and had many baseball clubs across NSW open to coming to our region to participate in baseball weekends etc. Aussie T-Ball is a 10 week program, after four weeks of the T-Ball my family moved to be closer to the Masters Games however for the next five weeks made the weekly trip back to operate the T-Ball. Yes this was one week shorter than the program however we did give children a professionally created sporting shirt as part of the program, which isn't offered anywhere else. Some parents - and I believe this is your gripe, couldn't give us a clear answer on what glove they needed despite it being clearly stated "If your child throws with his/her left hand they would need a right handed glove, or vice-versa" with some parents ordering the wrong glove. Out of everyone who registered we offered refunds to those who weren't happy and two people took us up on that offer - they were contacted to ask for the kit etc stuff back, as that is something that we needed to pay for and one parent made efforts to return their kit while the other ignored us so one parent received their refund.
In addition we have donated over $3 000 worth of Baseball materials that we sourced ourselves (not from Baseball Australia or NSW Baseball) to smaller towns and their baseball programs at no cost - this was despite us spending over $1000 in petrol and travel arrangements to collect the materials. So I don't know what you issue with the Baseball is - we completed our obligations and believe we went above and beyond what was required.
There was never a plan for Representative Teams or a Sevens as you have claimed. We approached council the day it was announced of the local council mergers by the NSW Government to raise the idea of a joint Sports Representative council, and joint representative teams in an effort to reduce requests from three different entities seeking grants for the same competitions etc. Unlike other merged council, apart from questions regarding to representatives in the council, our area seemed to embrace the joint council. As such the idea was raised for combined representative teams under the council brand rather than the three towns each having their own. This was to create greater "competition" for spots on the representative teams which in turn would create stronger representative teams. We were then asked to go away and work out how such a set up would work so what you must have looked at when you continue to bring this up was a dummy site that was established to show it off. We however abandoned this push when we left the area but we still invited council to consider it moving forward.
You also bring up about Sevens it was an idea submitted to council and the local rugby club as an idea to 'cash in' on the popularity of the sevens format and bringing people to the region. It wasn't something we wanted to run it was simply just an idea for them to take on board and potentially consider in the future.
From what was meant to be my greatest achievement this quickly became my biggest failure, biggest disappointment, and something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. The failure of the Masters Games has ensured that I am not involved in sport administration on any level. While my haters like to run around saying I cancelled the games, that I ripped people off etc this is not the case. While I put my hand up and accept responsibility for my failures, and my role in its failure, there is so much more to the story that you like to ignore.
This was meant to raise money for charity, this was meant to raise tourism to the region, this was meant to raise money for grassroots sport - instead it cost so much more professionally and personally. Ultimately it is one thing I still struggle with and remains one thing that mentally I struggle to cope with it almost cost my children their father. I am sick of playing the tic for tac games things were thrown on the backfoot when six months out from the event my car was broken into on my way home from Sydney where my phone and laptop were stolen while I was having something to eat - as a result I lost a lot of my contacts. I have learned my lesson and now back everything up and even using the cloud for certain aspects but that is too little too late as a result of this my communication with the sports involved slowed as I attempted to get my contacts back, my contacts with sponsors were also lost. As a result it was always going to be an uphill battle. We would have pulled it off however, being out of the country for the death of my uncle, when the council needed a meeting with me saw THEM cancel the event with me only finding out when I was contacted by a competitor in relation to a refund.
This was just four/five weeks prior to the event taking place and put me on the backfoot. Money had been spent on participant shirts that had already been ordered, for every competitor that registered we lost $5 straight up due to the system we were using, over 300 custom made medals had already been ordered, and entertainment had been paid for - as far as I am aware all sponsors and competitors have received a refund and anyone that hasn't I invite them to contact me and I will look into it straight away.
Another thing you like to throw around is that I ripped off a charity. Just because it adds to your arguement. It doesn't take a rocket scientists to work out the fundamentals of this:
The charity involved was to receive the left over funds after the local sporting groups got their share - there was no games, and all monies refunded which means with no games no local sporting groups got money, meaning there was no money left over to give to charity.
I create websites, I have created websites for many sports, many businesses - even in the area you post from, and personal websites. I see on your Facebook posts you bring up about another Sevens comp - apart from creating their website (which is a work in progress at the moment hence why it is currently on our Digitalien network and not on their own hosting) I have nothing to do with that set up.
You are now clutching at straws when you start bombarding councils associated with any of their tournaments etc trying to bad mouth me and run my name through the dirt. I have nothing to do with them apart from creating their websites.
You also bring up about the horror festival and claim its another failure on my organisation skills - this is not true, I came up with the concept and then on-sold it, the last I spoke to them they were actually in negotiations with NSW Government officials to make it a bigger and better event, however I am no longer involved in it and so am not up in the know in relation to it.
Don't Be Horror-ble
Yes I am involved in this, along with about 13 other people. This is because too many young lives are lost each and every year in direct relation to continued bullying. Whether that bullying comes from the classroom, school playground, sporting field or through online social media platforms. While you may see this as your opportunity to continue to bag me and continue your witch hunt (and don't worry on your current form I do expect a phonecall from the ACNC) at least unlike others who sit back and say "Oh no that is terrible that they saw the only way out was to take their own lives," we are actively trying to get into the minds of children from a young age what constitutes bullying, and the effects bullying can have on its victims. We want to be part of the solution, rather than turning a blind eye or part of the problem.
You don't need to like me, you can continue your campaign against me, but nothing is going to change our focus on putting an end to bullying and more importantly the effects bullying has on its victims. And this is one part of my letter to you all that I am not sorry about - I don't want my children seeing their only way out from being bullied is to take their own lives, as much as I don't want your children to see it as their only option. Even if we can save one life through our efforts it makes the efforts worth it.
While none of the above will change your impression of me, or make you relax on your witch hunt against me, and to be honest I believe this will just go in one ear and out the other and you will just go about spreading your false truths, here is the answers to which you seek. Am I perfect? NO. However no one is. As the great Michael Jordan once said "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying." I apologize for my failures, and understand why you over look my successes but all I have ever wanted is to work in the best interest of the communities I have lived in, make them bigger and better. I know now my failures, my shortcomings and now realise that for small towns there is their way of doing it and not to mess with it or you are instantly on the outter. I will never apologize for trying to be innovative, it has helped in other areas (which you ignore), but my time trying to improve things is over, I am sorry I have disappointed, I am sorry that not everything has worked out but there is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period.